Mornings
by negschainsaw
Summary: Just something I came up with. Has been going through my head for a little while now. One shot, pre series.


****Disclaimer: Not mine. Just borrowing them.

A.N: I don't know where this one came from but well I've had an idea for a bit and it came out today I guess. Hope you all find it a bit ok..enjoy!

**Mornings**

He woke up and stood up to do his daily routine of showering, shaving and dressing in the same type of suits he wore every day. They didn't resemble his employer's suits in the slightest. He rinsed his hair with lukewarm water and rolled his shoulders a bit to remove the kink that formed there the day before.

He wrapped a towel around his waist and took his razor. Concentrating on the face in the mirror while he was shaving he felt the rough metal cut away the hairs on his jaw only followed by a sharp pain.  
A hiss came and he frowned into the mirror while inspecting the slight cut on his jaw. He threw away the dull blade and replaced it with a new and sharper blade and continued on shaving.  
Selecting a suit wasn't very hard either and soon he proceeded downstairs to start his dull day of cleaning, cooking and doing whatever his employer asked of him. He often wondered what would happen if he were to pack his bags and move back to England to pursue his dream of becoming a barrister.

He flipped over the egg in the pan and like each morning started to weigh the Cons and the Pros of that plan.  
His employer's wife had just died which made the family fall apart and the children and his employer needing him more than ever.  
But he didn't get any recognition either, he was merely viewed as the butler, the servant who just tended to the children instead of the father. Like he had witnessed in a lot of families.

His employer was however not just his employer. He was his best friend, his little brother so to speak and to leave him in his time of need would be the worst thing to do.  
He popped in two more slices of toast in the toaster and plated the already finished and buttered toast.

But he had lost a friend too and could hardly keep up with the grief of his employer and the children which didn't give him any room to grief himself.  
He had been awake countless nights , not being able to sleep or having to care for the children if they had nightmares or needed comfort in other ways.  
While he was frying some more eggs and bacon he went out to the dining room to set the table. He didn't know if they would miss him or the butler. That was a question he kept asking himself every morning while he placed the knives on the right side and the forks on the left.

He then went to the kitchen and started carrying out the food. He placed the bagels in the centre of the table and the juice next to them.  
He stepped a few steps back and observed the table to see if he had missed something. He didn't have much room for error as his employer shuffled inside and went to sit down without a greeting.

He poured the tea and nodded a bit at the children coming in and silently taking their places. He lifted the little girl on her seat and gave her an already prepared bagel with some jam.  
Without a word and almost on automatic he went to stand back and let the family have their breakfast.

He gripped his hands together behind his back to keep a neutral face when the little one asked if they could on a pick nick when her mum would be back.  
Her dad answered with a short "no" and glanced at his other children who just had their heads down and tried to suppress any tears.  
He stared straight in front of him, not looking at the family for he was the butler and had to make sure he wasn't affected by anything.  
Every day, in the morning, he would stand there with the window behind him and his gaze directed in front of him, knowing that he could never leave.

That's how his mornings were, every single day. It would start with the blaring of his alarm and followed by his shower and shaving. It would continue with his thoughts about leaving, about how hard it was and he was only human. It would then end with him witnessing the family's grief and his conclusion that he could never leave.

He put his hands in the water and started to clean the dirty dishes, rinse and repeat to then finally put them for a last cleaning in the dishwasher. He wouldn't admit to himself what moment he was so eagerly looking forward to, because every day he felt broken. He felt helpless and didn't know how to advance. He needed that moment to survive.

His body was so adjusted to the rhythm of the day that with every past minute he felt more and more excited to what was to come. With every minute however he also felt the dread that it would not come that morning.

He had just put the last dish in the dishwasher when the moment was there. He got a smile on his face , glad that it was never late . That he never had to experience of waiting or fearing. He dried his hands quickly on the white , lightly smudged apron and threw it over the chair.  
He walked through the dining room and the living room and buttoned his jacket.

His heart started to adjust itself to the moment , beating faster instead of the sluggish and dull rhythm. He knew what was to come, he knew that from this moment it would all be good until it would be morning again. His hand rested on the doorknob and with another take of breath and the steady happy beat of his heart he pulled the door open and stood straighter.

Then that moment, the moment that kept him alive. The moment that kept him going in these rough times. That moment that made it clear to him he wasn't alone. That he wasn't just a butler but more of a butler boy.

"Hello, Hello"


End file.
